Monday, August 3, 2009

people...im bck...wit more miserable life...

diz weeknd juz over...n so many things i've done...
lately...my sleep time...huh...unpredictable...
my life...became like unorganized table....
on saturday...i juz sleep2...like an owl...wake up at night...
have night life...
until it comes to sunday....i wake up in the afternoon...
and later...sum1 ask me out for lunch....sum1 dat's really importnt
in my life...sum1 i eagerly want's him bck...sum1 which i cud'nt resist...
sum1 dat i cnt get rid of...sum1 who i wan to spnd my life wit....
sum1 dat hurts me...but stil...i kinda wondering...shud i giv up...
or shall i nvr giv up...
bck wit da story...
after havin lunch...we went to my frens office...n waste our time
there...disturbin people...and for da last minutes decision...
we decided to go to ZOO...kinda laugh bck went think bout it...
i thought gonna have my fun...like i use to be wen i was a kid...
but...its kinda diff..lots of things that hapen...ache my heart...
sumtim...i really wish...i wanna turn bck da clock...if evrytin really's
my fault...
juz bcoz of stupid...silly mistake...do i deserve diz punishment...do i?
y is diz happening to me...afta went to da ZOO...i stay in my room...lock it...
no dsturbance...cryin...thinkin....sleepin...wonderin...wat shud i do...
listen to sad songs...wat again shud i do...little by little my heart
wounded...i stayed and lock myself...in da room...no eat...no bath...like the miserable me...until i wrote diz blog
coz i have enough sleepin....n tryin not to look out for my phne...
coz it will aches me...in my thinking...did he ever thinks of me...my feeling...
my pain...did he?? sumone's says...my smile cud brighten sumone life...was it?
if dat hapen...den...shall i nvr smile again...coz i wan to save da smile for me?
will dat hapen? desperately hapen? i dunno wat to do...
wat i feel rite now...is...i wanted to run away...frm anybody i've known...run...n run...n run...no stoping...til i get tired...wat else shud i do?? shall i seek for sickness...so...i wudnt wake up....shall i sleep...where my dream i cud create...shall i cry until it unstoppable...
i know his problems....wudnt he want to make his problem away...juz by spending his time wit me...i've made my sacrifice...juz for him....was it so wrong to hav him bck?? waiting for him?? i dun think...he will think bout diz...coz i know...now he is doin his best in resisting me...am i stupid?? huh...i know...evry1 will be as stupid as me...if u ever want sumbody importnt in ur life...go...juz go...leavin u there alone...with da pain....huh...i know....