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when i walk with heads down
doesn't mean i'm emo

when i frown alot
doesn't mean i'm depressed

just because i like gore
doesn't mean i'm gothic

i am who i feel i want to be
click on the "Not Emo!" to suit your mood.


some heart are broken and mended
others are shattered and torn

although it was never intended

for love is eternally sworn
i've cried and prayed and pleaded

for that love hold its ground
hope was all i needed

and pain was all i found
www.bigoo.wswww.bigoo.wswww.bigoo.wswww.bigoo.wswww.bigoo.ws


me..myself and i

Siti Nur Sazana Bt Mohd Ayob
Gurl lar
skewl ke campus??
skewl - BBGS
mtrx - KMNS
campus - UTEM
my age - huhu...guess lar...
my height ... dunno...
my weight ---> secret!!


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!----MY WiSh----!

# if could have one wish...it would be that i wouldn't have to wish about anytin
# grow taller
# smile in the darkest of time



animated graphics
It was 10:39 PM on a red Monday, December 29, 2008...

skrg nie...ak mmg dibelenggu masalah..satu demi satu menimpa ak..
ptptn ak mintak naek kadar..xdpt..lpas utk yuran..pas2 balance tngl
rm30..mcm mane ak nk upgrade pc ak..mcm mane ak nk mule wat psm ak..
mak ayh ak akn bg rm200-rm300sebuln..itupn kalo bagi..
masalah per1 ak..ak hilangkn jam kesygan mak ak..dimana jam itu mak
ak bli utk rewards pd dirinya sendiri sempena bday dy yg dianggap sbg
nyawanya sendiri..ttpi ak hilngkn secara x sngaje..n ak lupe ak ltak
mane..ak xtau kalo ade sape trnmpak..@ sape trambil @ sape sgaje ambil
..waAllahualam..harga jam tue..rm500++.. dan smpi skrg mak ak msih
ungkit..dy cite dgn sume..dy maki ak..dy mara ak..smpi hilng tros
pecaye dh..kalo ada sesiapa yg mngambilnye..tlgla pulg..kalo x..Tuhan
tue maha adil..smua prbuatan jahat dibalas dgn jahat..sbb ilang atau
dicuri begini ak menderita..@ mungkin kesilapan ak sndri..xpe..ak akn
berusaha kumpul duit..blikn mak ak jam tue blik..baek!!..stakat nie ak
bru kumpul rm100..kumpul lg..chaiyok!!

masalah kedua ak..utang ak dgn poksu ak..yg ak pinjm utk memuaskn ati
kwn ak..yg dy terpaksa gne duit dy mggantikn pfume yg ak xjual..inilah
lumrah biznes..ada untg ada rugi..n ak dh bg duit..tp dr raya aidilfitri
n smpi skrg..habuk pn ak xdpt..ak nk report pd sape?? polis?? ak kne tipu
ke?? ntahla..ak xdpt nk bwt pape..ak buntu..insyaAllah ak akn kumpul lg
rm160 utk ganti blik duit poksu ak..ak xtau nk tlg sape @ tlg je dri ak
sndri..yg berenang pn msih lemas lg..

kwn ak pnah ckp..kwn segala2nya bg dy..dan dy hargai sebuah persahabatan
..tp skrg ape yg blaku..dy mjauh dr ak..ak syg dy sgt3..tp dy lunturkan..
kepercayaan ak pd dy..dy meletakkn ak dlm kesusahan..sedikit pn tidak
memikirkan situasi ak..dy meletakkn kegembiraannya dahulu dgn tidak
memikirkan kesusahan org lain..bagaimana org lain bersush deminya..risau
tntg dirinye, pelajarannye, tp sedikitpn dy xnk cube bngkit & x appreciate
dgn ape yg org buat utk dy..ak kecewa sgt2..skrg nie ak rse down gler..
xkn ada sape yg leh bntu ak kecuali diri ak sndri..kdg2 ak pk..dy hnye nk
gnekn ak je ke..mungkin ini dugaan Tuhan nk bg kt ak..dan ak hrap diatas
ape yg blaku nie..ada hikmah disebaliknye..ak berdoa Tuhan tolong kuatkn
hati hambaMu ini..kurniakn ak sifat sabar..dan ak cube berusaha stakat yg
termampu..ak perlu bertahan utk 1 semester...1 thun je lg..kemudian semua
ini akn berakhir..sume ini akn "over" dan tinggal hanya mimpi buruk yg ak
kne cube utk tdk mngulanginye lg..YaAllah..kuatkn hati hambamu ini..&
cekalkn hatinye serta kurniakannya sifat sabar..Amin..

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!--Pas Bce Anta La Komen N Advice Korg Kat Tag Ye...Time Kacih--!



It was 11:10 AM on a red Wednesday, December 10, 2008...

10/12/08
arini ak jmpe se2org...ak mmg angap dy mcm kwn...coz...walo sebelom nie ak pnh ske dy....
dy cube bermanja dgn ak blik mcm dlu...tp hati ak x pd dy...hati ak pd bf ak....
yg dh menyepi utk 3 ari....ak majok dgn dy....tp dy skit pn x pduli psal ak....
skit pn dy x ksh psal ak....ak sdih sgt3....sgt3....ak xtau pe yg jadi pd dy....
ak dh cube msg....tp dy x respon pape pn....ntahla ak xtau nk wat pe lg....kdg2.....
bile ko dh bg sepenuhnye hati ko kt se2org....dy pulak yg menyakiti kite...kdg2 ak terpikir
skali lg ke ak bg ati ak nie pd org yg salah....ak sdih...teramat2 sedih....
ak sgt3 kecewa....dy xda cube utk dptkn ak blik....walopn dy cbe utk minta maaf dr ak..
tp ak dpt rasekn yg maaf dy tue x ikhlas...dy xda ckp pn...."syg...maafkn i...baby plz,
didnt mean to hurt u...u'll always be my special one...i pmise....later i'll chnge 4 u"
no...dy x ckp cmtue...dy cume ckp...i minta maaf...sori for hurtin u...dats all....
did he really love me...im so sad...he didnt try to get me bck...ak sgt sdih....
rsenye ak gagal lg...rsenye ak ditinggalkn lg...ak dgn dy bru je 15 ari...guz ak rse...
ak tersalah pilih org lg....thnx again for evrytin....thanx again for ruining my life..
wat do i do again to get rid of him....for almost 1 semester....sakit la...kdg2 ak terpikir
ak nie gf dy ke...ak mmg kuat cemburu...tp cra dy lyn ak...kdg2 ak xrse ak nie special bg
dy...kdg2 ak rse mcm dy buat2 je...dy x hormat prioriti ak sbg gf dy...ak kecewa sgt2...xmcm org laen...x mcm org cpl...ntah...
ak kne cube lupekn dy...ak sdih...tp ak xtau nk ckp dgn sape...dhla sazana...
ko kuatkn je la dri ko...cbe lupekn dy...

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!--Pas Bce Anta La Komen N Advice Korg Kat Tag Ye...Time Kacih--!



It was 7:35 PM on a red Tuesday, December 9, 2008...

What have I got to do to make you love me
What have I got to do to make you care
What do I do when lightning strikes me
And I wake to find that you're not there

What do I do to make you want me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I say when it's all over
And sorry seems to be the hardest word

It's sad, so sad
It's a sad, sad situation
And it's getting more and more absurd
It's sad, so sad
Why can't we talk it over
Oh it seems to me
That sorry seems to be the hardest word

What do I do to make you love me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I do when lightning strikes me
What have I got to do
What have I got to do
When sorry seems to be the hardest word

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!--Pas Bce Anta La Komen N Advice Korg Kat Tag Ye...Time Kacih--!



It was 10:05 PM on a red Sunday, November 23, 2008...

ak xphm npe lelaki sgt3 ego...
sush btol la nk cri org yg ssuai...
yg leh thn dgn kerenah ak nie...huhu...
ak nie jnis cpat melenting...
n ak nk sum1 yg leh mngalah dgn ak...
tp nie laen...sgt3 laen...dy xkn mengalah...
n dy tros akn snyap...
ok..
if ini dy nk...
ok...go on...ak akn snyap...n xkn muncul lg...
n xkn gngu lg idop dy...

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!--Pas Bce Anta La Komen N Advice Korg Kat Tag Ye...Time Kacih--!



It was 1:24 PM on a red Friday, November 7, 2008...

today...i noe many kind of stori...which sort...
i cud learn from it...i said diz precious word...
but it seems no valued - "when i need sum1 so much,
he didnt came for me, but sum1 else did"...
but no respon...no feelings....guz me...hav to bck
off...no point...its worthless...juz keep it within
me...again n again...life..life...life...y must we
get through it...evry1 around me...stil life in da
past...y?? y??...n da past...hurts me a lot...a lot
..more than i cud imagine...mama...mama...mama...
im in pain...it was so hurt...i really need u mama
..no..no one..nobody came..no...its juz me again..
n again...n again...God..give me strength..to get
through diz...really big strength..to fight....
EVERYTIN...EVERYTIN...EVERYTIN...ALONE...N BY MYSELF

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!--Pas Bce Anta La Komen N Advice Korg Kat Tag Ye...Time Kacih--!



It was 6:33 AM on a red Monday, October 27, 2008...

ari nie...ak mmg btol2 xda mud...kwn yg slalo rpt dgn ak sblom nie...
yg btol2 rpt...bsame stiap mse....dh jauhkn dri dr ak...n ak sndri
xtau sebabnye...ak syg dy sgt3...ak sngup bwt ape je utk dy...tp dy
sikit pn x pnh pk...ape yg ak rase...dy bwt ak nie....mcm x wujud
lgsg bg dia....ati ak skit sgt3....ak nk nanges....tp ak thn...ak
sbr lg...ape ak nie hina sgt ke...smpi dy bwt ak cmnie...xpnh ke
skali...skali je...dy pk ape yg ak rase...ak sdih sgt3...kdg2 ak rase
mcm ak xnk duk kt umh nie lg....sakit sgt3....mnghadapi org yg lgsg
mke kite pn dy xnk hadap...mcm hina sgt ak dbwtnye...ak sbr je...
ak sngup berkorban ape je utk dy....tp dy sdikit pn x pnh appreciate
ape yg ak bwt...YaAllah...ini dugaan mu ke yaAllah....sdihla...
ak mmg sntiasa perlukn kwn2 disisi....sbb...kwn2 je yg dpt bwt ak ketawa...
gembira...

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!--Pas Bce Anta La Komen N Advice Korg Kat Tag Ye...Time Kacih--!



It was 5:36 AM on a red Tuesday, October 21, 2008...

kbelakangn nie....huih...ak pn xtau pe jd dgn ak...
ak bwt pe je ak ske...smpi ak x pk lgsg kesannye...
ak pn rase skrg nie...ak bukn dri ak yg sblom nie...
ntah ape jd kt ak ntah....ak bwt bnde yg xpnah ak bwat
sblom nie...n i keep doin dat...hey!! wat s wrong wit
me....?? or am i sick wit my life?? or was it a chnge??
or a impact of wat hapen towards me?? huh...i cnt evn
define myself...really damn complicated...
after wat hapen to me....many guys enter my life...
but i dunno which one...dat i really need...
n really sincere towards me...sumtimes...
i need dat sum1 so much...but he doesnt seems to appear
but sum1 else came...dat makes me really cnfuse...
i noe i hav to make a clear decision here...but to me..
for now...im not thinking of any series relationship
rite now...coz im really sick n afraid of it...
today wat i saw?? i saw...my fren...who r really
close to me...doin sumtin she not suppose to do bcoz
of stupid guy...owh God...im afraid...if 1 day...im in
a rlationshp...then this things hapen to me again...
i dunno whether i cud cope wit it or not...ohh God...
so bttr i listen to my father advice...not to in
rlationshp...til i suppose to...
then...im juz trying my best to fight it...being myself..
find myself...and really understnd myself...
~~~~~~~~~~move on sazana~~~~~~~~~~~~


!--Pas Bce Anta La Komen N Advice Korg Kat Tag Ye...Time Kacih--!




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